120+ Funny Pregnancy Jokes That Will Get Your Baby Kicking

So, you’re pregnant and already dealing with everything from cravings that have you eating pickles and ice cream at 3 AM to the constant struggle of trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in (spoiler: there isn’t one). But hey, why not throw some humor and pregnancy jokes into the mix? After all, if you’re going to spend the next nine months sharing your body with a tiny human who thinks your bladder is a trampoline, you might as well laugh about it, right? Plus, nothing beats a good giggle session when you’re feeling those pregnancy blues.

We get it—pregnancy can be a wild ride full of ups, downs, and everything in between. From mood swings to sudden bursts of energy (and don’t forget those weird dreams!), it’s a journey like no other. But there’s one thing that can make the whole experience a little easier to handle: laughter. So, grab a cozy spot, get comfortable, and get ready to laugh your bump off with these hilarious pregnancy jokes that are sure to keep you smiling all the way to your due date!

Funny Pregnancy Jokes That Will Get You Laughing

1. Why don’t pregnant women tell secrets?
   Because they’re afraid of the baby spilling the beans!
2. What did the baby say when it heard its mom was pregnant?
   “I’m womb-mates with myself!”
3. Why did the pregnant woman go to the gym?
   She wanted to keep her labor short.
4. How do you know your baby is a future musician?
   When you feel their first kick, it’s in perfect rhythm!
5. Why did the pregnant woman start a garden?
   She needed some thyme for herself.
6. What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato?
   “Ketchup! We’ve got a due date!”
7. What do you call a pregnant woman who goes swimming?
   A human submarine.
8. Why did the pregnant woman cross the road?
   To pick up some pickles and ice cream.
9. How do you know if your pregnancy is going well?
   You can still see your feet.
10. What’s the hardest thing about parenting?
    The contractions (both kinds).
11. Why don’t pregnant women play hide and seek?
    Because good luck hiding that bump!
12. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite game?
    Bump, set, baby!
13. Why do pregnant women love good jokes?
    Because they’re always in the mood for a belly laugh.
14. What do you get when you mix a joke with a pregnancy?
    Something that delivers.
15. How can you tell if a baby will be good at math?
    It already knows how to multiply in the womb.
16. Why did the baby bring a ladder to the womb?
    It wanted to come out on top.
17. Why did the baby bring a suitcase to the womb?
    Because it heard about the “baggage” moms carry around.
18. What did the egg say to the sperm?
    “Catch me if you can!”
19. Why are pregnant women so good at art?
    Because they can draw a crowd.
20. How did the pregnant woman feel after the party?
    Kicked.
21. Why don’t pregnant women do yoga?
    Because who wants to twist around with a baby on board?
22. What’s a pregnant woman’s least favorite kind of music?
    Heavy metal.
23. Why did the baby bring a compass to the womb?
    To navigate the exit.
24. What did the baby say to the other baby in the womb?
    “This place is a bit cramped, don’t you think?”
25. Why did the baby get a lawyer?
    To sue for breach of womb.
26. How can you tell when a pregnancy is serious?
    The bump becomes the main event.
27. What do you call a pregnancy test that tells jokes?
    A humor-meter!
28. Why did the pregnant woman go to the beach?
    To practice her belly flops.
29. Why don’t pregnant women go skydiving?
    Because they already have enough ups and downs.
30. What did the baby say during the ultrasound?
    “Smile, you’re on camera!”
31. How do you make a pregnant woman feel at home?
    Give her a comfy chair and some snacks. Done.
32. Why did the baby bring a dictionary to the womb?
    To learn their first words.
33. Why was the baby in the womb so smart?
    It spent 9 months being fed information.
34. What did the baby say to the doctor?
    “Cut me some slack, doc!”
35. Why don’t pregnant women do CrossFit?
    Because who needs extra weightlifting?
36. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite workout?
    The daily crunch—of chips.
37. How can you tell when a baby is a night owl?
    It practices its dance moves at 3 AM.
38. Why do babies in the womb like the dark?
    They’re training to be ninjas.
39. What’s a baby’s favorite mode of transportation?
    The umbilical cord.
40. Why did the baby bring an umbrella to the womb?
    Because of all the water breaking talk.
41. Why did the pregnant woman get a watch?
    To keep track of her due date.
42. What’s a pregnant woman’s least favorite month?
    The last one!
43. Why was the baby born at home?
    Because it wanted a housewarming party!
44. What do you call a pregnant woman with a sense of humor?
    Ready to pop a joke!
45. Why did the pregnant woman carry a camera?
    To capture every “bump” along the way.
46. What’s a baby’s least favorite subject?
    Anything involving due dates.
47. Why don’t babies in the womb play cards?
    Because they can’t shuffle.
48. How do you keep a baby entertained in the womb?
    Tell them a story—they love tales from the crib.
49. Why did the pregnant woman become a comedian?
    Because her delivery was always on point.
50. What do you call it when a baby kicks in the womb?
    Fetal footloose.
51. Why don’t babies in the womb have phones?
    Because they’re too busy making calls—kicking and punching!
52. Why did the baby bring a notepad to the womb?
    To jot down all those cravings.
53. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite holiday?
    Labor Day.
54. Why don’t pregnant women play poker?
    Because it’s all in the cards—ultrasound ones!
55. Why did the pregnant woman refuse to eat at buffets?
    Because she already felt like she was eating for two… or more.
56. Why was the baby so well-behaved in the womb?
    Because it knew it was on a tight leash.
57. What’s a baby’s favorite exercise in the womb?
    Kickboxing!
58. Why don’t pregnant women climb mountains?
    They’re already on top of the world.
59. What did the baby say when it kicked for the first time?
    “Just testing the waters!”
60. Why did the pregnant woman bring an extra plate to dinner?
    For her cravings!
61. How do you know when a baby’s getting ready to come out?
    They start packing up!
62. Why did the baby apply for a passport?
    To be ready for the big trip out.
63. What do you call a baby who kicks a lot in the womb?
    A future soccer star.
64. Why don’t babies in the womb need sunglasses?
    Because they’re always in the dark.
65. What’s a baby’s favorite kind of food?
    Placenta pancakes.
66. Why did the baby in the womb start reading books?
    It heard reading makes you smart!
67. How do you know when a baby’s hungry in the womb?
    They kick up a fuss.
68. What do you call a pregnant woman’s superpower?
    Growing a human!
69. Why did the baby bring a flashlight to the womb?
    To see where it’s going.
70. How do you know when a baby’s asleep in the womb?
    It’s quiet… too quiet.
71. Why don’t pregnant women run marathons?
    Because carrying a baby is marathon enough.
72. What do you call a baby who’s constantly moving in the womb?
    A busybody!
73. Why did the baby bring a map to the womb?
    To plan their escape route.
74. Why do pregnant women love shopping?
    Because they need to prepare for their “delivery”!
75. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite bedtime activity?
    Trying to find a comfortable position.
76. Why don’t babies in the womb need alarm clocks?
    They’re already on mom’s schedule.
77. What did the baby say when it was born?
    “That was womb service!”
78. Why don’t babies in the womb get lost?
    Because they follow the umbilical cord!
79. What did the baby say when it realized it had to come out?
    “Is it too late to stay in?”
80. Why did the pregnant woman get extra ice cream?
    To satisfy her and the baby’s cravings!
81. What’s a baby’s favorite type of music?
    Classical—because they love a good lullaby.
82. Why don’t babies in the womb use social media?
    Because they’re too busy kicking it in real life.
83. What did the baby say when it saw the ultrasound?
    “I didn’t sign up for a photoshoot!”
84. Why don’t pregnant women tell jokes?
    Because the punchlines are always a little laborious.
85. What’s a baby’s least favorite sound?
    The alarm clock.
86. Why did the pregnant woman bring a magnifying glass to the doctor?
    To get a closer look at her little one.
87. What’s a baby’s favorite game in the womb?
    Peek-a-bump!
88. Why did the baby start kicking?
    To get mom’s attention—time for more snacks!
89. How do you know when a baby is an athlete?
    They practice their kicks all night long.
90. What did the baby say when it heard a lullaby?
    “That’s my jam!”
91. Why don’t babies in the womb need shoes?
    Because they’re always on bare feet.
92. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite snack?
    Anything that’s within arm’s reach.
93. Why did the baby bring an umbrella to the womb?
    To prepare for water breaking.
94. Why do pregnant women love jokes?
    Because they’re always in the mood for a good belly laugh.
95. What do you call a baby who’s always on the move in the womb?
    A future marathoner!
96. Why did the baby apply for a visa?
    To make the journey from womb to world.
97. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite movie genre?
    Anything without labor scenes.
98. Why don’t babies in the womb need to study?
    Because they already have a cribsheet.
99. Why did the baby get a tutor?
    To prepare for life outside the womb.
100. What do you call a pregnant woman who’s always laughing?
     Ready to pop… a joke!
101. Why did the baby bring a thermometer to the womb?
     To keep track of the temperature—things are getting heated!
102. What’s a baby’s least favorite subject?
     The due date!
103. Why don’t pregnant women climb stairs?
     Because they’re already on a high—literally!
104. What do you call a baby who loves the dark?
     A future bat.
105. Why did the baby bring a flashlight to the womb?
     To light the way out.
106. Why don’t babies in the womb play video games?
     They’re already winning at life.
107. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite holiday?
     Any holiday that involves food.
108. Why did the baby apply for a library card?
     To start reading as soon as possible.
109. What do you call a baby who loves to kick?
     A future soccer champion.
110. Why don’t pregnant women play sports?
     Because they’re already carrying the team.
111. What did the baby say when it heard its mom’s voice?
     “That’s the sound of love!”
112. Why did the baby bring a surfboard to the womb?
     To ride the waves.
113. What do you call a baby who’s always kicking?
     A little kicker.
114. Why did the pregnant woman avoid the gym?
     Because she was already carrying heavy weight.
115. What’s a pregnant woman’s least favorite chore?
     Anything that involves bending over.
116. Why did the baby bring a pillow to the womb?
     To rest between kicks.
117. What do you call a baby who loves music?
     A future rock star.
118. Why don’t pregnant women play hide and seek?
     Because the bump always gives them away.
119. What did the baby say when it realized it was time to be born?
     “Ready or not, here I come!”
120. Why did the baby bring a notepad to the womb?
     To keep track of all the funny things mom says.

Pregnancy is no joke—well, except when it totally is! Whether you’re dealing with late-night cravings, trying to maneuver around that growing bump, or just needing a good laugh to get through the day, these jokes are here to remind you that humor is the best way to lighten the load. Growing a tiny human is hard work, but keeping a smile on your face (even when things get tough) can make the journey a whole lot more fun. So, keep laughing, keep smiling, and remember—there’s nothing more beautiful than a happy, glowing mom-to-be!